My name is Mullet Boat, and you are reading Vaguely Creative.com. I've lived in the future for ten years where I learned a lot about future culture and studied for My GED for two years after and made really good grades. You could live in the Future too; simply move to the Future and be resourceful as I was. I've also watched this episode of Black Mirror in the Future and the Present and have a unique understanding on all the differences between the future and the Present.
The Black Mirror episode The Entire History of You was written in the Past, since it cannot be written in the Present which would mean the episode is being written currently and not yet filmed, and not in the Future since I would have already reviewed it when I lived in the future for ten years and wouldn't be writing this review from the Present which will be the Past by the time you are reading it. Since the show was written in the Past and takes place in the Future there are some translation issues that I will address in this article.
The Entire History of You is the story of a married couple in the future that film each other with future cameras in their eyes and the use of this technology becomes the cause of a conflict in their relationship.
When I lived in the Future for ten years, my girlfriend there had these future eye implants, which in the Future are known as "Z-eyes” and filmed me with them when I was adapting to Future culture very well and speaking Future language fluently. She died of future cancer much like Aerith in FF7 Original died of magic cancer; also known as a sword through her midsection.
Jodie Whittaker is in this episode. As you may know if you also speak Future as I do, Jodie Whittaker was a Doctor Who, and that makes this episode no more entertaining, although she looks attractive in this, but never as beautiful as my future girlfriend was. Unfortunately, I have no pictures or evidence of my future girlfriend's existence since the only pictures I took were through my Z-eyes, and I had to have them legally removed when moving out of the Future. Obviously, a show about a Z-eyed Future couple draws a parallel to my real life time having a girlfriend when I lived in the Future for over ten years, which is why I won't ever shut the fuck up about it.
Before I talk about this episode more I want to talk about my roommate in the Past where I lived after moving out of the Future. He was a redneck prole that reminded me of my middle school bullies, so I didn't respect this person despite all his efforts to pay the rent on time and be a polite housemate. When he saw me watching this episode he said "hey, isn't that the Dr Who chick? You know what we would be tight? If she walked into a phone booth and traveled in time or something."
In addition to the parallel to this and my future girlfriend when I lived in the Future for ten years, the part where he is having his brain videos checked by the train station cops reminds me of a time, I had an argument with a TSA guy after a mean schizophrenic demon caused my keyboard to be damaged.
There was a scene where Dr Who was fucking this guy that was her sad pathetic husband who had no other significant roles I recognize, so I don't know his name, but anyway, they were watching brain recordings of them having good sex while they were having really sad lazy spoon style sex to show that the future technology is ironically crippling, because they were basically using each other as human spank socks while watching a porn of themselves. After that, the husband suspects Dr. Who of cheating on him because he saw a Dr Who brain recording on their smart TV of her flirting with a guy, and he goes apeshit and does a DUI even though the AI computer that controls the world suspends his insurance, and he drives to the guy that Dr Who may have cheated with and forces him to erase any Dr Who interactions in his brain hard drive by threatening to cut him with a broken bottle if he does not.
It wasn't that interesting an episode. It was one where our minds are supposed to be blown by those shiny contact lenses that make them look like they are in a cyber trance orgasm, and that was it. Otherwise, it didn't look like the future; as I would know because, I've lived and studied in The Future for ten years. The acting wasn't terrible, and it was alright, and it made more sense than most episodes of Picard.